World · 02/09
International Students Announce Plans to Deport Donald Trump
A campus review board says one applicant lacks a student visa and repeatedly disrupts the library.
NEW YORK, IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE — An international students’ council has opened a formal residency review involving a man named Donald Trump under its newly adopted Campus Living Standards Act.
The council cited his failure to present a valid student visa and his habit of interrupting quiet study sessions to announce that he is the smartest person in the room. Officials said the conduct was incompatible with the library’s posted noise limits.
The council emphasized that Mr. Trump may appeal. He must, however, submit the appeal in his own handwriting, without assistance from anyone assigned to read it aloud.